inspiration lost

This is not going to be long post as basically I have not done much in the 2 month since I last wrote – exactly 2 months wow!

There is a paint out today in Austin but there is no way I am facing rush hour traffic plus my allergies have been really bad recently. However, apart from the allergies problem, which has plaguing me about 4 weeks now, I seem to have entered one of my depression periods where nothing interests me.

So I am glad we have these paint outs as I generally push myself to go along even I don’t feel that creative. I also try to find other ways to work my way through these periods as I recognise they are part of my life and they are not going away. This time I have rediscovered crocheting and I am currently on block 18 of a 63 block blanket. I am also still attending the lace making group even though I have not really laced for weeks,  as one of my issues is a total lack of social interaction. Nothing like being on your own 15 hrs of a day to feed this introspection/depression.

It might never get finished (I have tried it before and got to 9 squares) as I am also working getting out of this inaction. I am again trying mediation and I  am already feeling more positive.  I am also rereading  Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales and stories. Its a massive book! I don’t plan to actually depict any of the stories but when I was training as art therapist, I had a series of children’s story tapes which I used to get clients to describe by drawing or painting how the story affected them.I didn’t want a literal interpretation of the story.

I am also sort of working on a still life painting except I haven’t worked on it for a few weeks which probably indicates that I should reconsider or start over with a different set up.

Depression is a routine part of my life but I don’t want to be painting about it!  So hopefully the light begins to rise above the dark soon.

1 Comment

  1. Chin up. I too am trying to stay upbeat with the operation to remove a kidney now scheduled for October in the middle of my show. I find painting is my escape hatch, as long as I am happy with what is resulting. Fortunately at the moment I am on a roll, but it is a much needed activity for me, and I find suspending judgement an essential to making progress. With judgement suspended, just doing I get a sense of achievement from finishing pieces and can often look back and say ‘ hey, that ain’t half bad…’. So go for it, keep your fingers busy, your mind will follow, and friends are only an email away…

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